October 26, 2010

For the Love of Fashion (and myself)

Try not to feel deceived by the overcast skies; New York City somehow found itself in the midst of a late-October heat wave today, with a nice mid-70's temp giving me the opportunity to wear the new leather-waisted shorts I got at Topshop this weekend without their autumnal requisite tights. Hallelujah! I also thought I'd try something a little new... Notice, no blacks, no greys -- earth tones?! Yes. I'm doing it. And I think I like it.
(P.S., I have to apologize in advance for apparently not being able to control my hair-touching. A fresh haircut, thank you Topher at Arrojo!, = lots of "ooh, my hair feels so nice today"s.)


Topshop batwing top, Topshop shorts, Miu Miu & Chanel Bracelets, Miu Miu Satchel, ASOS Wedge Desert Boots






ASOS Wedge Desert Boot


Photos of me taken by Austin Manning, others by me
Canon 5D with 50mm lens


And now, for something a little different. Bear with me.

I've made a pretty conscious decision not to discuss body politics in this space before, but for a number of reasons, I feel compelled to talk about it right now. Between the Marie Claire blog fiasco, my upcoming trip to LA for Full Figured Fashion Week(end), and interpersonal conflicts and conversations revolving around the body, this has been at the absolute forefront of my consciousness.

I have and always will maintain that my style and my relationship to fashion is not determined or dictated by my body. If there's a style or particular garment I love (or even like), that I can't easily find to fit my curves or my fat (and I say this lovingly, not self-deprecatingly), I modify, customize, and unleash my creativity to simply make it work. I refuse to be limited by off-the-rack options. Fashion is a huge part of who I am, personally and professionally, and frankly I'd be doing myself an enormous disservice by writing off companies, designers, and even fashion magazines and editorials that only cater to people "like me."

Suffice to say, I'm able to find inspiration everywhere, and in a strange way, I think my blog has served similar purposes for others - and not just "others" who look like me or share grievances about finding a dress that perfectly fits their boobs or adequately covers their ass. I take pride in the fact that my reader base is extremely diverse - not just in body type but in style, nationality, writing style... The feedback and personal stories that I've encountered through this blog have been incredibly powerful in my relationship to body politics.

My desire and wish for the fashion industry is that people can feel empowered as they are (short, tall, wide, gaunt, whatever), rather than using fashion as a tool to propel self-hatred or mask unwanted features or hide "problem areas," (but, i'm realistic: all consumer-based industries use insecurities to fuel buying of problem-solving solutions). Without letting myself get too distracted by one of many tangents, my hope is that by being active and vocal in this space, as so many others have been doing for years, I can chip away little-by-little at the expectations of what it means (and looks like) to be a young woman in the fashion industry. I know I'm not a size 2- or even a 10- and truthfully, I can't say that I aspire to be. Trust me, I've heard every criticism of this there can possibly be, and 50% can be rebutted by arguing that people are projecting their own insecurities onto whoever it is they're criticizing. If someone is unhappy with their own body, that's fine, and absolutely something people are entitled to - and they're entitled to make whatever changes they feel are necessary, but dictating or preaching what one thinks is necessary for others? Please, no.

I'm many things the fashion industry has, for over a century, dictated I should not be. But I am. This isn't to say I love every-single-thing about myself; I don't, and I'd be hard-pressed to find ANYONE that does. Regardless, those little details and points of contention with me (physically) and "the industry" aren't enough to deter me from continuing to be involved in a world I love and adore; yes, even as, people will correctly critique, it is a world that isn't designed for a zaftig, Semitic, gay girl like myself to flourish in. Maybe this is just slightly tinged with youthful idealism, but the disdain a certain Marie Claire columnist may have for my "unflattering" tops (see above for photographic examples) are far less valuable, and in my mind, less powerful, than my talent, hard work, and genuine love for fashion and design. I don't expect or hope to succeed in spite of my differences, I know I'll succeed, and in large part, I owe credit to those very differences that set me apart.

71 comments:

  1. thank you for writing this. Did you see the author posted a retraction and an apology? whats the point of contradicting yourself. our society discriminates against heavy/fat/obese/what ever you want want to call it people. shit, anyone over a size 4 is made to feel like a freak of nature. I dont get it, but glad you have the guts to write about it and not give a damn.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Earth tones look great on you. Love the blog, both for your style and writing.

    I agree that some blogs, plus size included, just don't get it. They recycle the same "rules" for dressing fat women when elsewhere there is a shift in how plus size women are approaching fashion and body image. By comparison those other blogs just look dated.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love the earth tones and the shorts! they are great! I also love your message! We often lose fact that we one can not limit their happiness in life due to the size of your body!

    ReplyDelete
  4. what a lovely, lovely post. you may not bring up body poitics often, but when you do... GIRL! articles like this pack a bigger punch than any bullshit marie claire puts into the world.

    YOU GOTTA BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE, RIGHT? i think i heard that in high school or something. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Part of me is sad that women's bodies are even a topic of discussion within any sort of political discourse. It's just depressing that we literally HAVE to defend something as intrinsic and immutable as our bodies… and in the fashion world? I can't even begin to imagine.

    That said. I cannot even tell you enough how much I love your perspective and how much I think you are NEEDED in fashion right now, in 2010. This is game changing stuff. YOU are game changing. Fashion, in addition to many other genres of art, needs to be reclaimed by people who love it in order for it to survive.

    ReplyDelete
  6. first of all, i've never let you know, but i love your blog. love.
    and the marie claire thing disgusted me two-fold. the fact that she (and her editors!) ever thought it was ok to write something like that for a publication like that baffles me, and the fact that she even has a job writing for a publication like that baffles me. her writing is terrible! terrible! ugh!

    ReplyDelete
  7. you're so inspiring! And i love those shoes on you
    :]

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good post.
    I love your outfit and those shorts. Curious, what size are those shorts from topshop? They look killer. ;p

    ReplyDelete
  9. Baby I'm a size 2 and I agree with everything you have to say on this. I'm proud of you being a plus size as you are and accepting everything that makes you "you". And judging from that outfit you pulled, I think you "made it work" with shorts beautifully!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love your outfit, your hair and your article. More importantly I love you for who you are and loving yourself as you are. It should be an inspiration for all of us. Unfortunately we have been brought up with cetain belief system as to what is right or wrong. Only when we get rid of these belief systems and live with our true self (what ever that happens to be), we will do humanity and this universe a service. You are a step a head of me girl as I am still working on it. I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No one could have said it better!

    Honestly, you are just too stinking adorable for words, I freaking love it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. you look beautiful!!!! i love your bag, i want it :D

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Nicolette, this is why I love your blog. First-I love your outfit, I always say sometimes it's the basics and neutrals that make the biggest statements. I must come to Williamsburg and shop your closet.

    Second-You hit it right on the nose about body acceptance. I think people are so used to hearing curvy women hate themselves or their bodies and reject the curvy women that do embrace their bodies even the parts that they don't love so much. Excellent post.

    ReplyDelete
  14. you are fantastic Nicolette! I salute you and everything you had said in this post! I may have to blog this, because you've said what I believe so eloquently. Marie Claire can go f**k themselves. x

    ReplyDelete
  15. this perfectly spells out so much of how i feel about the fashion industry and body politics in a far more intelligent and eloquent way than i could have ever gotten it out of my head.
    thank you for this, it's truly amazing.x

    ReplyDelete
  16. FUCK YES to everything in this post.

    especially pairing those shoes with shorts because i wouldn't have thought that and it looks amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great style transcends all. Love your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  18. first of all, shoe envy! i've been trying to find boots like those that won't hurt my feet (i have weirdly shaped feet, finding shoes is hard :D) and wallet.. gotta keep on searching.

    second of all, thanks for the awesome words. girls like you make living so much easier for girls like me. just by being you, you make me feel like it's actually pretty okay to be me, just in the size that i am. thanks♥!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just stumbled across your blog today. I love that this was the first post I got to read. You truly are inspiring and rather amazing.

    I love your style! That bag, and those shoes are making me drool.
    I love the Black and tan!

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are AWESOME. I wish your attitude was more prevalent.

    Also, after reading that girl's blog—extreme offensiveness of that particular post aside—I'm amazed she has a job as a writer in the first place. Plus what the hell was her editor thinking?!

    P.S. Agree with everyone else that you are rocking the earth tones! Especially with the bright lips.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Honestly, could you be any cuter? I simply adore this outfit and the usage of accessories. If anything is apparent, I need to start adding new pieces to my accessories.

    ReplyDelete
  22. The photos are great, really add to the 'mood' you're setting - nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love the see through top!! great shots!

    ReplyDelete
  24. There's always gonna be someone who tries to make others feel they are not up to their "standards". They seem to be everywhere - lurking in dark places, ready to pounce on the unsuspecting. What is it that makes these people so afraid of differences? Variety makes the world an interesting, stimulating place. Why didn't they get the message?

    ReplyDelete
  25. OMG!!! this is one of the most inspirational posts i've ever read!!!

    the truth is i've been reading ur blog for a few months now but i never comment but this post makes me want to tell u that u are one of my inspirations because i love fashion and i'm plus size but i find inspiration in outfits on All kind of bodys and blogs, so thanks for exist

    and i know you'll succeed too!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Love the booties. And you are so right. Always, always follow your dreams and do not let any part of your supposed "identity" hinder you from aiming to be in a position and industry you love.

    ReplyDelete
  27. i have to tell you- you're such an inspiration to me. you're so young and so accomplished and well rounded. i know i only get a small glimpse of what you do and who you are, but everything seems so wonderful... i want to live your life! haha. but in all seriousness, i'm just happy that there are people like you that represent the thousands of girls like me that are interested in fashion but aren't in the industry. keep doing what you're doing, and keep being awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  28. #1 this was so so well written.
    really.

    #2 mygod, those shorts are so so so good.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Very inspiring! I should start to love myself a little bit more...

    You seem like such a cool girl! :)

    x

    S*

    ReplyDelete
  30. lovely outfit and as always GREAT pictures! i think no matter how you look like, the most important thing is that you are HAPPY! having good friends is important - not many friends, but good ones!

    http://chouchouslittleworld.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. Your pics are awesome!the outfit perfect!
    DC
    xx
    http://dentelleetchocolat.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'M STEALING YOUR OUTFIT. Seriously. You look all classy and casual and intimidating (in a good way) and I WANT THAT (except more trashy than classy).

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is so much what I love, laid back yet stylished outfits ! Aw and the view... reminds me some good times ! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  34. You know, this is the exact reason I got sick of fashion mags and started looking at fashion magazines. The models are much more interesting to look at the inspiration is endless. Now please give me your bag.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Eli: Thank you so much. Yes, I did see the "retraction" but I didn't find it to at all include an apology, nor was it sincere. Marie Claire also removed the posting from their website which I think is insanely cowardly.

    Maru: Thank you so much! Yes, there's definitely a new and old school of thought when it comes to fashion on bigger bodies.

    Jeniese: Agreed one hundred percent! And thank you :)

    Amalia: Thank you very much. It might be something I venture into more often, we'll see!

    Sarah: THIS. Why is it even an "issue"?! And thank you for the encouraging words. I hope it's all true!

    Jess: I miss you!! I really appreciate your kind words. Yes, the article was horrid. I wish the author had disclosed her own history with eating disorders prior to publishing the piece. It was really tactless.

    Kayla: Thank you!

    Gazel: The shorts are a size 12.

    Shebelle: Yes, I definitely don't think this is an issue that's limited to people of any particular size. Everyone, regardless of their size, has insecurities.

    Afi: This comment means so much to me. I really appreciate it. xo.

    Franceta: Ahh you're so sweet!! Thank you.

    Thefashioninsideofme: Thank you! I love it, too ;)

    Alissa: I always love hearing from you. Neutrals are definitely new ground for me!

    Eleanor: The funniest thing about the whole situation with Marie Claire is that I've never found out interesting anyways...!

    Kylie: :)

    Morgaine: I really appreciate your words. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Fat Aus: I want to hug you! :)

    Stu: They're super comfy!!! ASOS is sold out of this particular pair, but they have a few other wedged desert boots. You should check them out! If I can make even 1 person feel better, more confident, or love themselves more.. that's all I need to feel like I've done something right here.

    Krust: Hope there's enough to keep you here! haha. Thank you! I'm loving this new lip color.

    Eliz: Thank you!!! I agree, isn't the writing so.. pedestrian?

    Sarah Anne: Thank you darling!

    Midnight Velvet: Thanks!

    Costra y Ampolia: Thanks so much!

    Steve/TheThirdDimension: I agree, it's really horrible, but I also "get it" from a business perspective... It's just unfortunate that that's the go-to tactic.

    L De: Thank you so much! I'm glad you've come out of hiding to comment on this post :)

    theplussideofme: Thank you! The booties are super comfortable.

    Olivia: Thank you so much!!! I love your blog, it's so nice to see you over on this side. I really appreciate your words.

    Laia: i <3 you! Get thee to broadway and broome immediately.

    S*: You absolutely SHOULD love yourself more.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Martina: I appreciate this so much! And you're right, I am happy and have amazing friends. That's really what matters most :)

    DC: Thank you so much!

    Heebie Jeebie Jaya: Come visit me in NYC, please!!!

    Sakina: Thank you so much! It's more casual than I usually do, but it was perfect for the day!

    E: I agree :) There's such a great wealth of diversity out there in the blog world. It's really a beautiful thing.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I can't believe that you tucked your shirt in and look A.Maze.Ing!!! That is a move I just can't get up the courage to do anymore. But I'm going to give it a go. You look great as usual and the hair SEXY!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Just found your blog and I had to comment and say how much I enjoyed this post! Love the earth tones myself and are those wedge boots fabulous or what!

    ReplyDelete
  40. The Buxom and the Beautiful: Thank you so much! I'm not one to tuck in my shirt, either, but sometimes it works :)

    Bella: Thank you! I'm thinking these opening-up, revealing posts will not be such a rarity!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Nicolette, you are completely brilliant, gorgeous, lovely and inspirational. Please don't change a thing, unless it's something YOU want to do for yourself. As a UK size 12-14, I don't consider myself unhealthy by any means, but by fashion standards, I'm positively enormous. Some clothes I like (wafty wispy tent tops, J brand Houlihans, etc.) genuinely look better on girls with no curves, rather than my 12 DDs and curvy ass/thighs, and I try to accept this fact and (usually) know what suits me, but I refused to be confined by what certain people say people over a size 8 should wear.

    Briony xx

    ReplyDelete
  42. Briony, Thank you so much. I really appreciate your comment and obviously I can relate! I think this is an issue that effects almost all women regardless of their size. There are societal pressures that have the same impact on a size 2 woman as they do on a size 16 woman. The confidence you wear speaks volumes more than the dress size :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Body shape and size is totally irrelevant. You'll succeed, without doubt, and are already. Fashion is based upon style - of which you have incredible taste. You dress, style, photograph, and write with confidence - it's obvious you have passion and talent.

    I'm a massive fan of your blog. Massive.

    Happy new years!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Love this outfit! The shorts are so cool! Really good color mix!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Body shape and size is totally irrelevant. You'll succeed, without doubt, and are already. Fashion is based upon style - of which you have incredible taste. You dress, style, photograph, and write with confidence - it's obvious you have passion and talent.

    I'm a massive fan of your blog. Massive.

    Happy new years!

    ReplyDelete
  46. I can't believe that you tucked your shirt in and look A.Maze.Ing!!! That is a move I just can't get up the courage to do anymore. But I'm going to give it a go. You look great as usual and the hair SEXY!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Eli: Thank you so much. Yes, I did see the "retraction" but I didn't find it to at all include an apology, nor was it sincere. Marie Claire also removed the posting from their website which I think is insanely cowardly.

    Maru: Thank you so much! Yes, there's definitely a new and old school of thought when it comes to fashion on bigger bodies.

    Jeniese: Agreed one hundred percent! And thank you :)

    Amalia: Thank you very much. It might be something I venture into more often, we'll see!

    Sarah: THIS. Why is it even an "issue"?! And thank you for the encouraging words. I hope it's all true!

    Jess: I miss you!! I really appreciate your kind words. Yes, the article was horrid. I wish the author had disclosed her own history with eating disorders prior to publishing the piece. It was really tactless.

    Kayla: Thank you!

    Gazel: The shorts are a size 12.

    Shebelle: Yes, I definitely don't think this is an issue that's limited to people of any particular size. Everyone, regardless of their size, has insecurities.

    Afi: This comment means so much to me. I really appreciate it. xo.

    Franceta: Ahh you're so sweet!! Thank you.

    Thefashioninsideofme: Thank you! I love it, too ;)

    Alissa: I always love hearing from you. Neutrals are definitely new ground for me!

    Eleanor: The funniest thing about the whole situation with Marie Claire is that I've never found out interesting anyways...!

    Kylie: :)

    Morgaine: I really appreciate your words. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Baby I'm a size 2 and I agree with everything you have to say on this. I'm proud of you being a plus size as you are and accepting everything that makes you "you". And judging from that outfit you pulled, I think you "made it work" with shorts beautifully!

    ReplyDelete
  49. first of all, i've never let you know, but i love your blog. love.
    and the marie claire thing disgusted me two-fold. the fact that she (and her editors!) ever thought it was ok to write something like that for a publication like that baffles me, and the fact that she even has a job writing for a publication like that baffles me. her writing is terrible! terrible! ugh!

    ReplyDelete
  50. so nice article........

    ReplyDelete
  51. Nice boots where I can buy?

    http://www.ativanwithoutaprescription.com/

    ReplyDelete
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